Empty Closets

There is a lot of pain and suffering in the world today. So many heavy hearts this week in the wake of the tragic accident that claimed the lives of 16 people. Sixteen lives ended in a moment, an irrecoverable moment in time that ripped apart families, friends and a hockey community forever. There will be funerals, memorials and ceremonies of remembrance all across the province this week. Millions of lives have been and will continue to be touched by this trauma. Times like these serve as an awakening for all of us. We remind ourselves things like love harder, laugh more, don't waste your life and treasure every precious moment. These things are good and important and they propel us forward into life, reminding us to keep living, keep breathing and keep remembering.

Today as I sit here I am thinking of the mothers who lost sons, children in this accident. I know there are many family members hurting and sorrowing, but being a mother myself my heart is drawn to the other mamas. Right now it's a whirl of activity, deep grief and decision making. Funeral plans are underway, families travelling down to provide comfort and support, the community is rallying around one another, the media storm is at its peak and the country is sending its support and prayers. It's a time that will be looked back on for years with sorrow and amazement. Eventually though, this phase will pass. The media flurry will die down, the families will go home and everyone will attempt to go back to their lives...not the same though, never the same.

The rest of us get to go on with our lives, with spring and baseball season and summer plans, but the mothers have more battles to fight after the frenzy dies down. Down the road they will be faced with the tasks of going through their sons rooms, sorting out the stuff left behind, cleaning out the closets. I can't think of a more soul wrenching image than looking into an empty closet, bare and void of all the things that make up life. Our closets are personal, we store our secrets, our scent, a part of who we are...all shoved into our closet.

I remember after my young sister passed away from cancer having to go through her closet and sort out her stuff. Getting rid of her clothes was absolutely heart wrenching. You could still smell her scent on them, see her personality in the styles she wore, and the way she would wear her clothes until they wore out never getting rid of them or updating them until she had no choice. In her closet we found letters, diaries, special keepsakes like a tiny hummingbird nest that had been our Grandfathers. We found things she thought were funny, old Peanuts Comics, goofy glasses and old movies. It was hard to go through, but at the same time it was special, keeping the memories of her alive in some way. I remember when it was done looking into the empty closet and feeling such a sense of finality. You can't be in denial about what has happened staring at an empty closet.

I stared into another empty closet not that many years ago, another empty closet that broke my heart into a million pieces and caused the tears to flow. My husband had moved out, left me to be with someone else. He had cleaned out his closet, taken it all with him, nothing left but some empty hangers. I remember keeping his side of the closet closed all the time so I wouldn't have to look at the emptiness that reminded me he was gone.

Sigh...empty closets; A sign of sorrow, loss, change and often heartache. My heart will be with each one of the Humboldt Mamas as they face the future, the empty closets the long grieving process. When the rest of the world forgets, when the country moves on, my heart will be with the families that can never forget and though they will find new ways to live, it will never be the same.

Thankfully this is not all there is to consider. This would be nothing but a sad post indeed if there were no more words to share. Empty closets are not the end of this story. I know the Easter season has already passed us by but I think it is fitting to remember here that because of another empty place thousands of years ago we have hope today, comfort in our sorrow, life in our hearts...I'm talking about the empty tomb. The tomb that Jesus, Gods' own son was buried in, the tomb he rose from when he conquered death. That's right, death is not the end, death has been conquered! When Jesus rose from the dead he brought hope and new life to humanity. The empty tomb, the resurrection is the centre point of faith. The sadness, the heartache , the grief gives way to hope and life because He lives!

The comfort God has whispered to my heart during the trials and storms of my life is real. God is real. My sister is in heaven and although I miss her tremendously I will see her again. This new life is hope, joy, laughter and peace. It is everything! This hope does not mean you will not grieve, there will still be sorrow for sure, but there will be peace also. One of my favourite bible verses is this:

Weeping may endure for a night

but Joy comes in the morning.

Psalms 30:5

My prayer is for those that are grieving to find hope and comfort in God's word and in his promises. I leave you with the words of this amazing song by the Gaither Vocal Band:

Because He Lives

I believe in the son

I believe in the risen one

I believe I overcome

By the power of his blood

Chorus

Amen, Amen

I'm alive, I'm alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

Because he lives

I was dead in the grave

I was covered in sin and shame

I heard mercy call my name

He rolled the stone away

( Chorus)

Because He lives

I can face tommorow

because He lives

all fear is gone

because I know he holds the future

and life is worth the living

just becasue

He lives!