Don't love a Ghost

Well it's almost Valentine's Day and I want to talk about love. Valentine's is one of those holidays that you either love or hate. If you are single, alone or in a rough spot in your life, it can be a stark reminder of all you are missing or have lost. If you hate commercialism, it can be a huge annoyance to you. I am one of those people that loves holidays and celebrations of any kind. Even when I was going through a divorce and experiencing the worst emotional pain in my life, I still celebrated Valentines. I just focused on making it a fun day for my kids and the children who were in my Dayhome at the time. Yesterday, my 9 year old said to me," Mom I think I'm like the grinch of Valentine's Day. I really hate it. I don't want a bunch of cards from school." I laughed at the time but I think I understood what he was saying. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a celebration of love, but really...it's showing love on a very superficial level. Anyone can buy flowers or chocolates and present them to someone special on valentine's, but what about the love that carries through all year long? That's the kind of love I am talking about here.

I want to talk about loving people who are difficult, people who have nothing to give back, or loving when it requires sacrifice. I'm not talking about romantic love here really either. These are not fuzzy warm feelings that we associate with falling in love, these are hard choices and decisions made with tears, forethought and action.

There is a song by Dc Talk whose Lyrics express this better than I ever could. The chorus goes like this:

This is what love feels like

poured out, used up, still givin

stretching me out to the end of my limits

this is what love

this is what real love

feels like

I doubt you will see many Valentine cards with a message like that printed on them, but this is the message I am burdened about today. There's a quote that goes around on social media that says," Be kind to strangers. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

If we could get this message into our hearts it would change the way we looked at the world and the way we treat people. You have no idea what it took that smiling person in your social group to get out of bed this morning. You don't always know who is fighting depression ( it's unbelievably easy to hide), you don't know who is fighting to get the energy to make it through the day. You really don't know.

As a christian it can be too easy to put on a happy face and have everything appear great on the outside. I don't know why we do this but we do! Some people have social anxiety and going to church is a huge battle for them, but you may not ever know it. So don't judge. Let them love and serve in their own way and in turn you love them. It's really that simple.

God knows the sacrifice each one has to make and the struggles they are facing. While certain things may come easy for you they may be difficult for someone else. God knows that getting out of bed and facing the day is a battle for some, God knows there are times when that has been me! I battle with depression and anxiety almost every day. I struggle to know how to get through the day sometimes, and some times I stay in bed all day because I just can't fight it. That's real, that's honest. Recently I was encouraged by a story about king David. He wanted to offer a sacrifice to God. He needed to buy the threshing floor of a man named Araunah.  Araunah wanted to give it to him as a gift, David was the king after all! But listen to David's words,

" No! I insist on buying it, for I will not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24: 24

Even tho David was king and he could take what he wanted He understood that to show God he meant business, a price must be paid for the sacrifice. God acknowledged this and in reply he stopped the plague that had descended on Isreal. 

What encouraged me was this, knowing that any sacrifice we make is known to God. Even if no one else sees it or even knows it is a sacrifice. God sees it. God acknowledges that for those struggling with depression, getting through the day, not giving up, choosing to serve your family is a sacrifice...and a service.

God knows that for those struggling with grief, chronic illness, anxiety, family trials...God knows what it costs you to keep on going. This is the nitty gritty folks. This is real life and real love. Real life is messy, it's painful and difficult. But it is also beautiful, rewarding and delightful.

God sees you, He loves you. Our job is to turn around and love others. Not for who we think they should be, but for who they are. Don't love a ghost, or an image of who you think someone is. Don't love for what you can get out of it. Love people with all their struggles and pain and difficulties. You don't know what they are fighting. You don't know what sacrifices they are making. Be kind, be loving..always.

We are all just human after all. Broken...but beautiful. Let's love like we mean it.